FBI hires Tom Cruise from Minority Report to prevent premeditated suicide of Ghislaine Maxwell

Published: July 6, 2020

Bradford, NH- FBI can’t thank enough John Anderton (Tom Cruise) from Minority Report for preventing the premeditated suicide of Ghislaine Maxwell after her arrest, allegedly related to the sex abuse scandal of minors. Ms. Maxwell, ex-girlfriend of deceased Jeffrey Epstein has been regarded as a close confidante of his till his suicide right in front of off duty security guards and dysfunctional cameras. “We were so sure that Ms. Maxwell was going to meet the same fate as Mr. Epstein. I mean it has nothing to do with them possibly naming high profile celebrities and politicians. But you know, being investigated for such a humiliating crime can be depressing and one can easily become suicidal”, told one FBI agent to Satiristan correspondent while staying anonymous. “Thank God Mr. Anderton  with his high gadgets to see in near future, intervened at the right time and removed the rope and note pad which Ms. Maxwell intended on using towards her suicide,” FBI agent continued.